jon monie

Ten questions frequently asked of me and my equally frequent answers.

Are you looking for cheaper car insurance?
No.

How would you like to die?
I've always loved the early railways. If I could be hit by a steam locomotive I'd be chuffed to bits.

How deep is your love?
Do you really need to know?

Is it meant to be that shape?
With the Summer we've had, yes.

What is your greatest ambition?
To give a pathologist the cold shoulder.

How am I driving?
Beyond me.

Did you order the Code Red?
You're Goddam right I did.

What's it like out?
Nice. Now get your's out.

Any sauces with that?
Tartar.

If happy little bluebirds fly beyond the rainbow, why, oh why can't I?
Too fat.